Jail Girls

All my celebrity girlfriends are behind bar!? (I know, I'm a gross motherfucker.)

Snookie, who was arrested today for disorderly conduct, I absolutely love. Those ham hocks make me crazy!! Some like em thick, what can I say? And being a thick skinned brotha myself, it makes perfect sense. I also love her italian heritage, public display of beer bonging and I ♥ SNOOKIE shirt. Where do I get my I ♥ SIMS shirt?

Lohan. Lohan Lohan. My future wife – locked up and causing a scene. That's right, I said Lohan is wife material. "Why the fuck?" you ask? Because underneath it all, there's this girl. And I want to wake up next to that girl. The chances of it ever happening, due to blonde hair dye and her current stint behind bars, make it slim. But rumor is that several of Hollywood's top stylists have been put on call for the entire weekend. Their call time: TBA. Their location: Lynwood Jail.

Any other birds in the big house? I dunno, what's Kristen Bell up to? According to her tweets she's in Florida – @IMKristenBell: Me and Florida, sittin in a tree – which is fine by me. I love to jet ski!

What it's like to be Mark Wahlberg...

ABOVE: An ad featured in today's Variety. Ari Emanuel doesn't send gift baskets.

BELOW: Some great Wahlberg. As well as a great Baldwin. "Go fuck yourself."

Batman 3

No, we're not talking about Val and Nicole.

Christopher Nolan, just off his Inception weekend, is the Bat King now n' days and with the new flick slated for a summer 2012 release, everybody wants to know "who's the next villain?" Although the Joker survived Batman’s ass beating in The Dark Knight, Nolan has said the character is being retired to Arkham Asylum out of respect and memory for the late Heath Ledger.

So with Comic-Con less than a day away and Inception saving the summer, will the mighty Bat King give us a hint on who will be terrorizing Gotham next? No idea. But firstshowing.net claims to have the scoop. An inside source of the web site states that The Riddler is listed as the next villain in the highly anticipated sequel, and that the actor currently listed to portay the assumed villain is none other than Inception star, Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Other possible villain rumors flying around the bat cave are Jonah Hill as the Penguin, Snooki as Catwoman and the Governator, reprising his 1997 role, as Mr. Freeze.