Where Everybody Knows Your Name

It was September 30, 1982 when Sam, Diane, Carla, Cliff and Norm came into our lives as what I feel is one of the best television sitcoms of all time, Cheers.

How many nickels are in $1.35?

Glad to see you're back and doing well C-Dawg!

This shit is Moranis M-O-R-A-N-I-S

DJ Lubel is his name and he is telling us the one thing we're all thinking, "I miss Moranis."

Agreed... Ed O'Neill was lame in 'Little Giants.' For more DJ Lubel check out his newest masterpiece, 'Wrong Hole' featuring the my personal favorite, Scott Baio.

This shit is brilliant!

Because it's Sunday...

Los Angeles to Honolulu via Kayak

Google Los Angeles to Honolulu on google maps and get your kayak ready. It's going to be an adventure. (t/y Meggan)

A conversation with Phalco friend and writer, Tyson Heder, about this amazing discovery:

~

tyson: I don't get it.

tyson: You're flying to Hawaii?

tyson: Through Portland and Seattle?

sims: No way bro.

sims: Driving, then kayaking.

sims: Read the list directions. #15.

~

Monday Night is Back

Obama's in the White House. (check)

Conan is on at 11:30pm. (check)

And Tedy Bruschi is on SportsCenter? (wtf!?)

So the NFL is back and so is Tom Brady and company. I believe ESPN told me that tonight was the first game that Brady has finished in over 500-some days. Did anyone else see the end of the fourth quarter? He's back and he's out of control. He's also still a cunt and should be thankful that him and his squad of cheaters aren't coming through the Burgh this season. Although it would be nice to remind them who the six-time Super Bowl champs are. I guess we'll just have to wait until after Christmas. In the mean time, guess who else sucks? Yep, you guessed it, Phil fucking Rivers. We'll see that clown in a few weeks. Anyway, my thoughts go out to all Bills and Raiders fans tonight. Your teams both played extraordinary football and gained a temporary fan for the evening.

Pittsburgh in the windy city next week. Also my return to LA's finest Steeler Bar, 90 West Lounge. Go Steelers!

Flight of the Stern

Our dearest friend, Dylan Stern, proving to the world that he can fly at last night's Moonbounce party hosted by the lovely Sara Kordy. It was hands down the best way to end summer. And no, Dylan didn't die.

The Phalco Three

Watch out Apatow. We're coming...

Mike Roach [writer/actor]

Steven Sims [writer/director/actor]

Jeremy Tague [writer/actor]

www.phalcofilms.com

Beauty and the Beasts

When Roach and I are apart (mind you this summer being the first time in over two years) things become great. He's back east now relaxing with friends and enjoying time away from this chaos we call Los Angeles. While speaking with the Roach tonight about his time off, pending Phalco deals and fantasy football (which I fucked as my first year as commissioner) he mentioned that Phalco good friend, Rachael Kimball and Phalco great, Dylan Stern have sort of similar Facebook profile pics. I checked it out...

Rachael and her handsome man come off as a normal picture you expect to see on the old Book. Diz and his faithful companion, Randy the dog, on the other hand just look crazy. Which is something you should keep in mind in case you ever decide to break into my home and murder me. Diz and Mr. Randal there are two of my roommates and yes they are both crazy. They are also a very lovable duo who never fuss when I rub their bellies.

Creepin on ah Come Up

Phalco writer/actor Mike Roach headed back east for a few weeks to grab a breathe of fresh air and do the job he does too well, re-write all the crap we throw his way. Mike can be seen in Phalco's upcoming sketch comedy pilot, 'The Men's Room' and is currently rumored to be featured in an untitled, unannounced War flick which is being penned by Phalco scribes, Dylan Stern and Steven Sims.

Clean Shaven and Drunk

And with that, it was the summer of ' 09.

Part 01: Bringing life back to life.

I told myself in January that this year is the year to make things happen. To take leaps, be adventurous and let the past be the past. I spent the early days of '09 devoting my time to the pen, scripting ideas and organizing for the next chapter of this epic jounrey. I spent springtime creating new projects, developing new ideas and shaping what it was we said Phalco would become. In the early days of summer I took months of solitude and brainstorming and brought it to life. Phalco went into production on a brand new sketch comedy pilot (currently in post production) as well as took to the stage for our first ever live sketch show. Words on paper and ideas in my mind had become real and the things that started to take shape around me were also real. It was all quite awesome.

Part 02: An old song sings again.

When you find yourself on a solid path it can exhaust you, but exhaustion doesn't matter when you feel on top of the world. In early July I headed a few miles east where a new environment awaited me. It was time to move on and settle into Los Angeles as a 26-year old inspiring "king of Hollywood." My new home not only brought a breathe of fresh air, but new faces and a new way of life. Surronded by new friends and a fresh new atmosphere, I felt alive again. When I think back to my days in Pittsburgh and the things the drove me to come west I think of friends, old roommates, ex-lovers, friends that were friends then your enemy then your friend again. I'm doing the same thing I was doing then, but with new friends. Friends that will push me to the next level.

Part 03: The unexpected expected.

It's hard to believe how much time has went by since I left home. This journey hasn't been an easy one, but every step, every bump, every shit salad that has come my way has been worth it. So where am I at now? If I were to tell someone where I was in life after the summer of 2009 I would say at the top of my game and at the custp of something very great. The week of my 26th birthday, just a little over a month ago, an opportunity like no other had presented itself. Like many things in this town it was unexpected and for the most part completely out of left field. The infamous Phalco short from two years earlier, 'Destroying Jonah Hill', had re-surfaced itself and virtually acted as a reel, resume, headshot and agent all rolled into one. Within a week I went from a lonely writer with his eyes set on SNL to an actor in a real movie. It wasn't a Phalco short or a stage show at the iO West. It wasn't a Captain Foamy sketch or some goof ball Spike TV show. It was a feature film. And I was in it.

Part 04: The Leap.

The week before my old b-day was a crazy one. When I first found out about the feature and how the legendary 'Destroying Jonah Hill' was still making it's rounds around town I wasn't too down with any of it. Sure, I love hearing that our film was still being seen by the likes of Hollywood, but acting in a feature wasn't exactly what I had next on my "to do" list. I had been writing and producing all summer. I was on a roll. I didn't want to take time away from Phalco's latest productions to act in a movie as a character I wasn't interested in playing. And why would I want to leave work for a week and use all my vacation? Why would I want to break stride from the writing success of this year? Why would I want to shave my beard? Why, why, why? Well...because why the fuck not? It was the months of writing and production that made me think this could be a ticket somewhere. It was my friends who guided me in the right direction and believed in me when my negative mind set took over. And it was everything we've done. Where Phalco has taken things and where I took myself. So at noon on my 26th birthday I decided it was time to take a leap. I took some vacation time from my humble home at World of Wonder and in August of 2009 I acted in a feature.

Part 05: Chapter 2 continues.

The things that are beginning to follow are a story in itself. Like my mom always says, "If that was all it was, wasn't it worth it?" The answer, yes. The reality, that was not all it was. The future of Phalco and this epic journey I call my life will continue to roll along nicely. I could sit here and ramble off what we have up our sleeves, what's in the works and what to expect next, but instead I suggest sitting back, relaxing and enjoy the ride to come. I know I sure will.

Enjoy yourselves this fall. The year is still young and the universe is still expected to amaze us in many beautiful ways. Cheers my friends.

-- Steven M. Sims