I'm an Idiot

Is it okay to eat a turkey sandwich you packed for lunch at 10:00am?

Is it smart to "attempt" to jump a spiked fence?

Is it wise to be drunk for the entire month of May?

There's the obvious answer to all of these. Then there's the "I don't give a fuck" answer. The "I don't give a fuck" answer is one you usually hear from a 19 year old who really doesn't give a fuck. The obvious answer is what you usually hear from your mother or a mature adult who knows that they aren't 19 anymore. So where do I fall into this category? – None of the above.

As I sit here, eating my turkey sandwich while holding an ice pack on my upper thigh/nut region, I wonder why instead of listening to Laura Sims and doing the obvious, I listened to a 19 year old Sims, who never had a good sense of judgement. My leg fucking hurts. And as much as I want to blame it on the PBR and lack of food that day, I can't. I can only blame my dumb shit "I don't give a fuck" self. There's really no moral to this story other than, I'm an idiot.

Summer of '09 continues here in Los Angeles with a banged up left leg and a belly full of cheap beer and turkey sandwiches. Sounds just like freshman year again, only replace turkey sandwiches with cheese steaks. My guess...at this rate, I'm dead by fall.

-- Steven M. Sims

Well Said

Sunset & Vine in Hollywood

Welcome to LA Good Sir

June on the West Coast

Please don't threat my pets, we are still here. Yes, Phalco is alive and well. A lot has been thrown on our plates these last couple of weeks. We apologize for our lack of attendence, but promise that what we have cooking up is pretty, pretty sweet. Give us a minute as we short out this new time called 2009.

Things Are Happening

The summer of 2009 is upon us. And as said in the past, "things are happening." I remember listening to "Six Different Ways" by The Cure a lot back in those days. The days when things did happen. The days when new chapters were beginning. Here's a little Cure action to help us roll right into the summer of '09 and Chapter 2: The Next Chapter (love me Kenny Powers). Cheers!

Dr. Bummer from the Burgh

Dan Bern & Phalco

Dan Bern's playing the Largo again this month.  Looks to be a small, yet handsome turn out.

Confirmed Guests: Steven Sims, Jeremy Tague, Mike Roach

Maybe we can just get him to move the show to our apartment. Save us some gas.

Breaking News Swine Flu Fans!

The World Health Organization says swine flu is over with!  Not because people have stopped getting sick but because they are changing the name!

It seems swine have little to nothing to do with contracting the virus and random pig punchings are up some 30,000 percent since the illness started.  

So, I guess it's just another boring people flu.  Which sucks because you want to be able to punch whatever the flu is named after, am I right?  Only thing, you can't punch people because "People" made laws that you can't punch people.  Pretty convenient for them I would say.  I have a feeling they have been planning this people flu for quite a while.

That's why we should name it after another animal.  We are unsusceptible to animal courts of law because we don't understand their languages... THEREFORE! punching any animal for any reason is out of the realm of jurisdiction!  

I think we should rename it the koala bear flu because those things need a good beating whether they deserve it or not.  

Rest up for the beat down stuck up Koala Bear jerk!

Daily Update with Steve Sims: Wednesday in Hollywood

Hollywood Blvd. -- Wednesday, April 29, 2009 @ 4:00pm.

Okay, so where the hell is everyone? I have never seen Hollywood Boulevard this empty. Is it the swine flu? Is it the smell of piss from all the homeless? Is it the creepy Homer Simpson who is simply a fat guy in tighty whities with a Homer mask on? I don't know. But my guess, probably the last one. No one wants to see that. I don't care how much you like The Simpsons.

**Photo of the tighty whitie Hollywood Homer hopefully coming soon.

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In other Hollywood news, Nicolas Cage still has yet to have anyone take a photo of his star on the Walk of Fame. That was until today...

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And lastly, The Virgin Mega Store is going out of business. Yes it is. And because of it our good friend Stephen Saban was able to get the newest from Bobby D. for $22.99. What a deal! So get your butts out of the house or on a plane and over to the Virgin Mega Store on Hollywood Boulevard as they're slashing prices and practically giving shit away. Rumor has it the release of Nickelback's greatest hits was the reason for the store's closing.

The Enlightenment Welcomes Arlen!

Rock the fuck on Mr. Specter.  Rock the fuck on!