Where Everybody Knows Your Name

It was September 30, 1982 when Sam, Diane, Carla, Cliff and Norm came into our lives as what I feel is one of the best television sitcoms of all time, Cheers.

How many nickels are in $1.35?

Glad to see you're back and doing well C-Dawg!

This shit is Moranis M-O-R-A-N-I-S

DJ Lubel is his name and he is telling us the one thing we're all thinking, "I miss Moranis."

Agreed... Ed O'Neill was lame in 'Little Giants.' For more DJ Lubel check out his newest masterpiece, 'Wrong Hole' featuring the my personal favorite, Scott Baio.

This shit is brilliant!

Because it's Sunday...

Los Angeles to Honolulu via Kayak

Google Los Angeles to Honolulu on google maps and get your kayak ready. It's going to be an adventure. (t/y Meggan)

A conversation with Phalco friend and writer, Tyson Heder, about this amazing discovery:

~

tyson: I don't get it.

tyson: You're flying to Hawaii?

tyson: Through Portland and Seattle?

sims: No way bro.

sims: Driving, then kayaking.

sims: Read the list directions. #15.

~

Monday Night is Back

Obama's in the White House. (check)

Conan is on at 11:30pm. (check)

And Tedy Bruschi is on SportsCenter? (wtf!?)

So the NFL is back and so is Tom Brady and company. I believe ESPN told me that tonight was the first game that Brady has finished in over 500-some days. Did anyone else see the end of the fourth quarter? He's back and he's out of control. He's also still a cunt and should be thankful that him and his squad of cheaters aren't coming through the Burgh this season. Although it would be nice to remind them who the six-time Super Bowl champs are. I guess we'll just have to wait until after Christmas. In the mean time, guess who else sucks? Yep, you guessed it, Phil fucking Rivers. We'll see that clown in a few weeks. Anyway, my thoughts go out to all Bills and Raiders fans tonight. Your teams both played extraordinary football and gained a temporary fan for the evening.

Pittsburgh in the windy city next week. Also my return to LA's finest Steeler Bar, 90 West Lounge. Go Steelers!

Flight of the Stern

Our dearest friend, Dylan Stern, proving to the world that he can fly at last night's Moonbounce party hosted by the lovely Sara Kordy. It was hands down the best way to end summer. And no, Dylan didn't die.

The Phalco Three

Watch out Apatow. We're coming...

Mike Roach [writer/actor]

Steven Sims [writer/director/actor]

Jeremy Tague [writer/actor]

www.phalcofilms.com

Beauty and the Beasts

When Roach and I are apart (mind you this summer being the first time in over two years) things become great. He's back east now relaxing with friends and enjoying time away from this chaos we call Los Angeles. While speaking with the Roach tonight about his time off, pending Phalco deals and fantasy football (which I fucked as my first year as commissioner) he mentioned that Phalco good friend, Rachael Kimball and Phalco great, Dylan Stern have sort of similar Facebook profile pics. I checked it out...

Rachael and her handsome man come off as a normal picture you expect to see on the old Book. Diz and his faithful companion, Randy the dog, on the other hand just look crazy. Which is something you should keep in mind in case you ever decide to break into my home and murder me. Diz and Mr. Randal there are two of my roommates and yes they are both crazy. They are also a very lovable duo who never fuss when I rub their bellies.