Nobody likes you when you're 23.

Oh the 23rd birthday...

Last night I had the privilege of kicking back and enjoying a few old favorites, a 23rd birthday and. . .well let's just call it cheese sandwiches. Actually while we're at it, let's call the people who were present the following: Caren, Cheryl, Jack, John Farpenter, Jerdy, Tim, Lisa and Don. Okay now that we have that out of the way (for obvious copyright, slander and privacy reasons) we can move on with our story. So where was I? Oh yes the 23rd birthday...

So last night was Caren's 23rd birthday. At midnight to be exact. She arrived at the party nice and early with a beautiful smile on her face. She was excited because today her and Don were heading to Disneyland for a day of friendship and fun. But before Caren could put on her Minnie Mouse ears and SPF 60 she had a night to remember. A night of cheese sandwiches.

Myself and my good friend, Farpenter arrived to the party a little after 8:30pm. Farpenter and I had already eaten like four sandwiches so we were already quite full. But that wasn't going to stop us. Jack, hard at work in the kitchen prepping the cheese sandwiches, greeted us with hugs and happiness. Caren and Cheryl sat alone in the living room. Caren in her pigtails and Cheryl ready to rack, we were all in store for a 23rd birthday/cheese sandwich attack.

While Don was still at work, Jerdy, Tim and Lisa had arrived. Jerdy allergic to cheese and frightened by bread, decided to pass on the cheese sandwich and just enjoy one of the finer things in life, Natty Light. Soon enough Don had arrived and the party had begun. We were two hours out from Caren's 23rd birthday and already deep into our sandwiches. Where will the night take us?

At 11 o'clock things began to get weird. And by 11:30pm things began to get really weird. The sound of a low battery Wii controller became a carbon monoxide leak and the plot to Backdraft all rolled into one. Our good friends, let's call them Daffodil and Sunshine, arrived with a hat that turned a low lit kitchen into a Monroeville Mall photo booth. Sunshine, off cheese sandwiches and high on life, documented the chaos which was described by Cheryl as; "I think we're in an episode of The Office." At 11:50pm we had relocated to an amazing wrap around pirate ship, I mean couch. Sunken into the couch like a couple of zombies at a Zombie Zoo, we listened as Don began to cue up the sounds that would ring in Caren's 23rd birthday.

I couldn't tell you the song that played or the "happy birthday" sounds that came from our mouths. Tim kept requesting an applause for his efforts of walking and Jerdy began to look more and more like a member of the KKK who forgot his robe and had to settle for a freshly washed wife beater. Things had become intense. As the music played, fingers snapped, and the birthday chants continued we all starred into the eyes of the birthday girl as she said her first line of 23; "This is some kind of horrible nightmare."

Happy Birthday Caren! Let's hope 23 is everything you dreamed it would be.

-- Dennis The