Aerosmith: I fucking hate these guys.

I also hate American Idol. There, I said it.

I Love You

Kristen Bell. Rice Krispies Treats. Marry me.

Two (Great) Things

Kenny "Motherfuckin" Powers is Back!

The People's Champion, The Shelby Sensation, The Reverse Apache Master, The Man with the Golden Dick, Doctor C*ck and Balls...

Jail Girls

All my celebrity girlfriends are behind bar!? (I know, I'm a gross motherfucker.)

Snookie, who was arrested today for disorderly conduct, I absolutely love. Those ham hocks make me crazy!! Some like em thick, what can I say? And being a thick skinned brotha myself, it makes perfect sense. I also love her italian heritage, public display of beer bonging and I ♥ SNOOKIE shirt. Where do I get my I ♥ SIMS shirt?

Lohan. Lohan Lohan. My future wife – locked up and causing a scene. That's right, I said Lohan is wife material. "Why the fuck?" you ask? Because underneath it all, there's this girl. And I want to wake up next to that girl. The chances of it ever happening, due to blonde hair dye and her current stint behind bars, make it slim. But rumor is that several of Hollywood's top stylists have been put on call for the entire weekend. Their call time: TBA. Their location: Lynwood Jail.

Any other birds in the big house? I dunno, what's Kristen Bell up to? According to her tweets she's in Florida – @IMKristenBell: Me and Florida, sittin in a tree – which is fine by me. I love to jet ski!

What it's like to be Mark Wahlberg...

ABOVE: An ad featured in today's Variety. Ari Emanuel doesn't send gift baskets.

BELOW: Some great Wahlberg. As well as a great Baldwin. "Go fuck yourself."

Batman 3

No, we're not talking about Val and Nicole.

Christopher Nolan, just off his Inception weekend, is the Bat King now n' days and with the new flick slated for a summer 2012 release, everybody wants to know "who's the next villain?" Although the Joker survived Batman’s ass beating in The Dark Knight, Nolan has said the character is being retired to Arkham Asylum out of respect and memory for the late Heath Ledger.

So with Comic-Con less than a day away and Inception saving the summer, will the mighty Bat King give us a hint on who will be terrorizing Gotham next? No idea. But firstshowing.net claims to have the scoop. An inside source of the web site states that The Riddler is listed as the next villain in the highly anticipated sequel, and that the actor currently listed to portay the assumed villain is none other than Inception star, Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Other possible villain rumors flying around the bat cave are Jonah Hill as the Penguin, Snooki as Catwoman and the Governator, reprising his 1997 role, as Mr. Freeze.

The Dog Days of Sims

2010. The adventure continues...

The Winter Sun

So we made it. We marched through an adventurous winter of left lung fails, late night goodbyes and Steeler season cries. After my brief stint at the local infirmary it was back to business. I took a fancy new gig at my favorite Hollywood home, World of Wonder, working on a brand new docu-series airing later this year. It's been an interesting experience working on a production from an office point of view, but I'm sure it's worth it. The show has been shooting in New York City and the crew and I have been working like dogs producing the series. I've also have had the chance to live in NYC while not having to leave LA. As I said, "from an office point of view."

Spring-a-Ding-Done

As spring rolled through we enjoyed the return of some Compound chaos and late night dancing with the people we love. We said goodbye to regular strangers and hello to old faces. Life is a lot like an 22 episode sitcom. Some episodes are fluff while others lead to a great string of events. Spring was the end of the fluff.

The Sound of Summer

It's now summer 2010 and several new adventures are upon us. For starters, the long awaited and much anticipated DVD release of The 41-Year-Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall and Felt Superbad About It drops today. With magazine covers appearing around town, phone interviews being scheduled and TV spots appearing before movie previews, this has all become quite cool. Will it continue with more exciting opportunities? Or will I just be some guy who looked like that fat guy from Superbad? Negative Sims wants to say the latter, but lately I've been trying to be more positive. That being said, go buy the DVD. On sale today.

With the DVD release here and Jonah Hill's Get Him To The Greek billboards all around town (a lot like our early hay days back in '07) the excitement of having a doublingganger has begun to rise again. It's been established that although slightly smaller and kinder, no matter what hair cut or look I have, I still resemble this fucking guy. Never the less, Get Him To The Greek doesn't feature side-splitting bonus material like The 41-Year-Old Virgin does. One special feature included on the DVD is Being Jonah Hill – a look at my relationship with Jonah Hill and the making of the Phalco short, Destroying Jonah Hill. Yes sir indeed. The Phalco boys managed to make their way onto a DVD disturbed by FOX. Featured clips from our 2008 short, Destroying Jonah Hill, along with a "60 Minutes" style interview with yours truly, makes this DVD a must buy. So seriously, go buy the DVD. Available at Amazon, Walmart, Best Buy, Blockbuster and on Netflix in July. And thanks for the support.

The Future of '10 and Beyond

So what else is down the pipe line? Production begins this July for a brand new web series I'm co-directing and producing with writer/actress and iO West superstar, Sophia Zolan. / Mr. Bug co-creators and Phalco buds, Alison Trumbull and Dylan Stern, have apparently drafted up a short script for me to star in. I made only one request, no Superbad shirt. / Ivan Ehlers feature, Guns Don't Kill People, wrapped shooting last month and will be making it's way to the festival circut soon. I play the character of "Dirty Dan" and had a great time on set working with Ivan and his fantastic team. Getting to kill some people was pretty cool too. / And of course the turtle moving boys of Phalco Films are around and planning for a few new projects. I mean, it's the year of adventure so don't be surprised if we drift off on our own and try new things. That's just how we roll. But we promise ideas are being penned and new projects will be in the works soon.

Life is different this side of 2009. That is with out a doubt. But sometimes different is the only adventure we need. Enjoy it. I know I am.

-- Steven M. Sims

Return Of The Dick

Guess who is back? I know, I forgot about him to. Here's a delicious quote from America's biggest mistake:

"Yeah, we waterboarded Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, and I'd do it again to save lives." –George W. Bush, during an appearance at the Economic Club of Grand Rapids, Michigan.

Conan Does Reno

We've seen the 60 Minutes special. We lived the late night war drama. But what we have enjoyed the most from all this Conan craziness, are his tweets.

@ConanOBrien: I'm performing tonight at a dinner theater in Reno. Who says my career is in trouble?